Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
