smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
