I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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