I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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