Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
one two three fourrrrnication!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
