I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
