Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
