So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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