if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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