I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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