I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
