that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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