I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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