Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
