I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize