Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
