God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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