Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
