Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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