dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize