so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
