a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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