Got a toothbrush?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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