dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
