I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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