My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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