I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just invented taco cereal.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
