she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
