sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
