Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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