i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We talked him into tasing himself.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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