What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
