I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
