Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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