in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
