It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You've changed since you got that strap on
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
