Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
