I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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