I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize