I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We talked him into tasing himself.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
