I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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