I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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