you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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