got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
