I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
