yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
