I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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