I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
