K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
