dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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