dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
