Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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