exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
