mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
