she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my sisters under your porch take her home
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
