That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A bitchslap is in order.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
