Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
