my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
