No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Farmville is her only friend.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
