"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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