he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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