There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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