why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
