She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
