Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
